I've been waiting all summer for my beloved figs to ripen and now, when they finally have, I'm going out of town for a few days. I'm going to have to eat a lot today, as these guys have a very, very short window of maturity. By next week, it'll all be over.

Here are the things you need to know about me and figs:

1) I had never tasted one in my whole life until a few years ago, when my cranky neighbor Joel dragged me across the street so I could try some off of his tree. Joel's crankiness, of course, is a bit of an act--he's 86 now and is entitled to it--and we love him not despite of it but but because of it. Anyway, I tried this fig and I was hooked. If you've only had a Fig Newton in your life and think that's what a fig tastes like, you're missing out. Real figs don't come from Nabisco and they don't have a cookie surrounding them. They're actually like a mixture of every great fruit you've ever had, all in a tiny, perfectly formed bell.

2) Beware of what you wish for. Joel took my newfound love for figs as gospel and within a few days a tree was planted in my front yard. That's the way Joel works. He doesn't really tell you he's about to plant a tree in your front yard--a fairly big decision for most folks--but just goes ahead and does it. It was all good because the tree was only two feet tall and we didn't think there was any harm.

3) The tree ain't two fee tall any more. Only three years later, the fig tree has taken over the front of our property and towers over everything, including my very patient neighbors to the left, who can't drive into their driveway without swiping fig leaves. (We've promised to cut it back after harvest.) I've never see a faster growing tree in my life.

4) By the beginning of next week, we will have hundreds and hundreds of figs. Combined with Joel's slightly older and larger tree across the street, we're talking thousands of figs. A lot of figs. Usually Cooper and I will go out and I'll eat a few and Coops will eat a few and then we'll put some in a bag to give to some fig newbie. We've gotten pretty good and knowing which ones are ripe and which ones need 24 hours more. Last year, some construction workers stopped to ask what all the fuss was about and we gave them some figs to try. They were hooked within ten seconds.

5) There are lots of things one can do with figs, but whatever you do, avoid Joel's last idea: He walked into my house one day last August and plopped a bottle of figs preserved in Vodka on my table and then waited for me to try them. Joel does love his vodka, in particular one gorgeous bottle I brought back from Ukraine. Since I'm not a vodka drinker, I stare at the bottle for its design and Joel drinks the contents. It's a win-win situation. Anyway, the prospect of these alcoholic figs was fairly unappetizing, especially as I stared at the recycled Starbucks Frappuccino bottle he had used for the experiment. I'm certain I told him I had just eaten and would try them later, for dessert. That's my Joel.

So if you're in the neighborhood, come on by and pick your own. Next year we might have to have our very own First Annual Matt Mendelsohn Photography Fig Festival and Pie Bake-off.

Take care,

Matt